1) Drop the obsession with deadlines
There are some things which will always be beyond your control.
Things like getting pregnant/ marrying your dream partner/ recovering from an illness/ healing emotional issues that involve others/ recovering from life long addictions etc. It’s not possible to restrict such things to a date.
The matters of your heart cannot be confined to a time.
You can start this year secretly wishing and desperately hoping that it’ll finally (I mean finalyyyyy!) happen this year. Or you can be fully accepting and happy for what Allah has in store for you.
Acceptance does not mean that you don’t take action and just hope that somehow it’ll miraculously fall out from the sky and land into your lap. Acceptance means that your happiness and success is not pinned down to the future. It means that you face the fear of it not happening and trust that despite it all, Allah has great things coming for you.
Hold your happiest visions in your heart and mind. There is nothing like being prepared for your dreams, just don’t let that turn into an obsession for it to happen this year. Needing nothing, attracts everything.
2) Heal Your Wounds
New year, new me? Well it doesn’t tend to happen as quickly as that. Fresh starts are wonderful in making us feel excited but you still have emotional wounds from the past – we all do. There’s no running away from them. You can play hide and seek all year long (even for a lifetime) but what’s beneath there, will always surface.
Every. Single. Time.
You can’t fool people or yourself for too long. Your intentions do eventually creep up. Your emotional wounds will surface again and again until you heal and work through them. It’s a call for you to look within, surrender, face your deepest fears, love yourself unconditionally and allow it to pass.
3) Think Good of Allah
Now you didn’t expect this, did you? 😉 In my 2 years of coaching women 1-1, really digging deep into what’s going on, you’d be surprised at how deeply engrained this belief that Allah won’t give what you’re asking for is.
It’s when you’re making dua but deep down, you don’t believe that Allah will answer you. It’s when you’re begging Allah for all that you desire, but deep down you’re afraid it’s not going to happen because your human eyes can’t fathom it. You want Allah to give you the world but you don’t believe that He will (for you). Now how does that work?
4) Do Your Mindset Work
2019 is the year you’re going to crack open your journal, swipe off any dust and get writing (yes you honey!). Whether that’s writing out affirmations, journal entries, reflections, lists to organise your life + mind, brain dumps, gratitude lists, visioning your ideal life exercises, goals lists, forgiveness letters… anything that’s supporting your mindset.
5) Make Yourself No.1 Priority
“But wait… what about my kids? My husband? He can’t even boil an egg to save his life!” 😉
Oh I hear you! What I can assure you is that it all falls into place when your self-love is present.
– You’re less reactive to your kid’s tantrum or needs. With self-love you actually start to enjoy spending time and effort with them. Raising your children starts to nourish you instead of physically and emotionally deplete you. Being with them becomes a joy not a burden or responsibility to fulfil.
– Your husband has the space to take the lead in your relationship because you haven’t smothered it by a) making your marriage the centre of your world b) obsessively thinking about him and his needs all the time c) putting him on a pedestal which he doesn’t respond well to.
– You start to feel happier within yourself. Your self-worth isn’t tied to your career/ how much money you’re making/ how well your children behave/ how many anniversary gifts you get and so forth. When you’re busting with self-love, you can lovingly attend to the needs of others without making it about your self-worth. How your children behave or your husband’s mood is not about you.
This year make yourself number 1 priority – your happiness front stage. From that space, you can unbelievably give love, nourishment, space and support to the people you love the most – yourself included.