As my blog has grown and reached a wider audience, the response has been overwhelmingly positive. I LOVE sharing and connecting with you on self development, strengthening your trust in Allah, emotional growth, health, wellness, happiness – all that delicious, exciting stuff! Whilst the majority of responses have been supportive, constructive, there seems to be a reoccurring theme of dropping sarcastic comments or making irrelevant judgements about my life. I’ve seen threads and discussions by Muslim women indirectly making pretty judgemental comments – often blowing the things I’ve said way out of proportion.
Truthfully, I’m not one to dwell on negativity for too long. As I attempted to carry on with my work and blogging as usual, I noticed a strange thing happening…
Every time I sat down to write, I felt a massive wave of crippling resistance. I felt so much resistance to the point where even writing a paragraph was so daunting. I found myself holding back. I found myself wanting to not share as much. I found myself doubting whether to write or not. I questioned whether I was even worthy of having this level of achievement – I started this blog as a side project, getting well over half a million views per month was pretty substantial for me!
Here’s the biggest kicker to it all:
I found myself constantly needing to justify my hard work.
As though all those nights that I cried myself to sleep wasn’t enough. As though all those sacrifices I made to work on my dreams wasn’t enough. As though all those times I felt vulnerable, anxious and hurt wasn’t enough. As though I wasn’t worthy to have these achievements – despite hustling hard for them.
For the first time ever, I felt guilty for being successful.
Don’t apologise for working your tush off to make it look so easy – because it ain’t! You have no idea what a person goes through before you judge them on social media. It’s very rare to have a blessing without some sort of struggle beforehand. When you see women do more/better/different than you, be happy for them without feeling any less of yourself. You have no idea what people are going through – often the blessings/highlights you see come after months and years of longing.
By all means give feedback on my writing/ the topic that I’m discussing – just don’t bring my family into it. I consciously choose not to talk about my family (+ private life) because it’s such a sensitive, vulnerable part of my heart that I wish to keep private. But that’s the nature of some of these nasty comments – they have absolutely no bearing to what I write about. In other words, don’t make up stuff about another person’s life to make your self feel better.
Darling, I want to be real with you. I LOVE supporting and cheering on my besties for following their dreams but not everybody is going to treat you well for that. Following your passions, being happy and successful can make people feel uncomfortable. You can’t control how other people will react to your happiness but don’t ever dim your light because it’s too much for other people to handle.